I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Texas on Christmas Eve. Texas is just too big and with the Gudetama Christmas sweater of Earth skyrocketing I had my contract renegotiated by the North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I’m certain that your children will be in good hands with my replacement. He’s a local boy and a third cousin of mine, Bubba Clause.
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